Hart of a Boy
by wintergreen825
Summary: Even taking a run as a stag, James still pins like a human boy.


**Legal Disclaimer:** I own my stuff, but not the original source material. That belongs to whoever. Also, the opinions and interpretations I use here may not reflect the same in said whoever that owns the source material. Look, I'm just a poor college librarian. Suing me isn't going to get you anything but tears.

**Warning:** This work may be offensive to some readers. Feel free to back out if that's you.

**Author's Note:** I'm using the popular headcanon that the Potters are Desi (Indian). Specifically, I'm making them Punjabi Hindus. Hence why two Hindu deities are mentioned towards the end. Saraswati is (as mentioned) the goddess of knowledge, who transformed herself into a deer in one of the stories (hence James' reference to being in her form). So that you can enjoy this joke, too: a hart is another word for a male deer.

**Submitting Info:**  
**Stacked with:** MC4A; House Competition (Term 4)  
**House:** Hufflepuff  
**Role:** Player (7th Year)  
**Category:** Drabble (200 – 950 words)  
**Prompt:** Stag/Doe (Animal)  
**Representation(s):** Pinning; Learning Respect; Magic; James Potter; Random Run; Gender Nonconformity; Marauders  
**Bonus Challenges: **Second Verse (Not a Lamp; Ladylike - Vengeful; Nontraditional; Mouth of Babes; Found Family; Tomorrow's Shade; Unwanted Advice; Some Beach; Car in a Tutu; Zucchini Bread; Misshapen Pods; Casper's House; Creature Feature; Call Me Dantes; Machismo - Considerate; Under the Bridge; Lettuce Hold Hands)  
**Word Count:** 676 words

(^^)  
**Hart of a Boy**  
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James ran through the woods. Running in his Animagus form was freeing in a way that flying couldn't touch. It was just what he needed to clear his head. His sixth year was off to a grand start. After the blow-up at the end of last year, Snape had been quiet. That hadn't even lasted the entirety of the train ride to Hogsmeade this year. The git was out for blood, it seemed, and not pulling any punches in his efforts to gain revenge against the Marauders.

Apparently, Snape held them responsible for Evans refusing to have anything to do with him.

The three members of Sirius' family that remained at Hogwarts had taken to supporting Snape's efforts, though never outright. In fact, if Sirius hadn't said anything, James might not have noticed the nuanced differences in the curses Snape was using. Sirius thought they were doing it as punishment for his defection that summer, a sentiment that James' mother had agreed with when James had written her.

Somewhere inside his animal brain, James sensed that he was nearing where the acromantulas had their nest. Regardless of what Hagrid seemed to think about their harmlessness, James knew better from all the times that the spiders had attacked his friends and him during their monthly runs. It took barely any effort to turn his bulk in a different direction. A low-hanging branch scraped the tips of his antlers when he jumped over a fallen tree.

It distracted him enough that he stumbled when his hooves touched the ground again.

As he picked himself up off the ground, he found himself thankful that no one was around to see him.

_Especially_ not Lily Evans.

James took a more leisurely pace back towards the school, letting his thoughts center on the girl he was certain he wanted to marry someday.

The redhead still wasn't speaking to him. She had stuck up a friendship with Sirius, however, which would have hurt James' pride if it didn't seem to make Sirius so happy. More than once, James had discovered the pair painting each other's toenails in the common room. Remus was usually curled in a chair nearby with a book. If James tried to join the little group, Evans would quickly make an excuse to leave. Sirius hadn't said anything about it, but James could tell that it was upsetting him.

James just didn't know how to fix the situation. She was absolutely right that he hadn't taken her feelings into account, and that he had disrespected her stated boundaries. He had been blinded by his own desires, as self-important as the stag that was his Animagus form. His mother had given him many lectures on the topic over the summer, and Sirius, too, once he joined them at the Potter estate. Mamī had been nearly as livid as Evans when she had heard about James' behavior. He understood now, _very thoroughly_, how his behavior had been horrid.

Understanding didn't tell him how to make it up to her.

It didn't tell him how to make it right.

Something told him that just apologizing wouldn't be enough.

James shook himself, letting the ripple of his hide settle him. He could fix this. He had strayed from the path of compassion, and he would surely continue paying for that wandering, but he could work to balance his mistakes and demonstrate that he had learned to be better. After all, was he not the very form of Saraswati, the mother of all knowledge? He pranced a bit, energized by the trickle of hope he felt at the thought.

Lily Evans had struck at the heart of the issue with all the agile accuracy of Shiva's cobra, but the poison served to burn out the dishonorable selfishness, leaving only the purity of love in his heart.

James may not be able to transform his actions as easily as he could become a stag, but he could still make it up to Evans.

She was worth the effort to become worthy.

She was worth everything.


End file.
